i feel like there's a lot of pressure on me.
i feel like things are hanging on the thread that's been involuntarily tied to my lips.
and when i speak - when i say the word - that's the final answer.
that's what people will have been waiting for.
i feel like everyone's watching and waiting and confusing me with their input.
like i've got to figure Me out for their sake ...
never for my own.
i don't want to feel stressed out about pleasing everybody.
i don't want to wound anyone in any way.
i don't want to push myself into something that doesn't fit.
but i also don't want to miss out ...
or to be afraid.
i want time.
i want patience.
i want honesty.
i want real life.
i want a relaxed afternoon on the couch to dwell in simplicity and to laugh and to be cozy ...
to feel connected to another spirit.
i don't want shoes to fill or expectations.
i don't want nerves or uncertainty.
i don't want frustration or unease.
i don't want pressure or opinions.
i don't want any of it for any party ... it ruins the goodness ...
ruins the purity.
ruins the purity.
i want real thoughts to come out as sincere words.
i want the freedom to just be.
i want safety.
i want truth.
i want someone to always be honest i love that word and true to me ...
to not ever feel like they have to impress me or be something more.
people, in their most honest form, are incredible;
in.cred.i.ble: adj. impossible to believe; amazingly good or beautiful.
they have good thoughts, powerful fears & noble ambition.
i want soft touches and meaningful glances ...
bold laughter and brave tears.
i think that ... all of that, together ... is love.
but i'm not really sure.
that's been my theme in life lately: NOT REAL SURE.
emotion and friendship and expectations and possibility
and feelings and fallacies and attached strings and conscience ...
all wrapped up into one ball make for a messy, confusing and slightly blissful journey.
so, yeah ... i'll keep ridin'.