Wednesday, March 30, 2011


Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. 
 If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one,
not even an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;
avoid all entanglements.  Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. 
But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. 
It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. 

To love is to be vunerable.
-c.s.lewis-

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Word of the Day: Kismet.

i think the dictionary.com app on my iphone is 
spirit-filled; anointed; bllllessed-uh! ... whatever 
charismatic, super-spiritual word you'd like to use 
... this app is it. it continuously gives me words of 
the day that are eerily connected to certain thought 
patterns or theological struggles i am having.
 todays word:  Kismet: noun - destiny; fate.



i dream pretty big. 
 i want to travel and experience and fall in love with lots of things & people. i want to see the fullness of God's glory within the world ... in nature and children and art and destruction and human nature and architecture and words and food and community and brokenness and pain.
i want to see His glory in all of its contexts. 


i have a lot of expectations for my life. 
i am committed to seizing the day.
i am not afraid of adventure or sacrifice. 
i am driven.

and many times i forget to leave room ... to leave every bit of room ... 
for God's ideas and plans and expectations. 

ultimately, i am His.
i long to be His. i yearn for Him to impart His purpose & insight to my life. no matter how much i study my books & read my articles & volunteer with interesting people & talk with my friends & make plans for my future, my mind and soul are void of true inspiration. 

... until i meet with Him.

then truth takes over. then i remember who i am & what my spirit feels like when it's RIGHT. then i am gently whisked away into the realm of the bigger picture. where righteousness and glory and peace and hope rule over all. where mercy and justice for the forgotten cry out to be fought for. where the purity and safety of defenseless children screams for redemption. 

then i remember who i am, what matters, and how the power of the cross was meant to be played out in my life. i do not know precisely how it will unfold; where, when or who with  ... but i know they're there, behind the doors i have yet been led to open ... God's ideas.
in all of their difficult and laborious glory, they wait for me. 

then ... the confusion of my small life doesn't matter one stinkin' hoot.
"Alexandria Turner, get over yourself, love the Lord, & gain Life."
i role my eyes at my self-absorbed ... self, and move on with my day, remembering the greatness of God's plan for His people, the redemption that waits for the worlds acceptance, and the truth that is longing to be revealed to stolen souls. 




blah blah blah ... here are some words that hold some real clout:


Ezekiel 3:4-17
"And He said to me, 'Son of man, go to the house of Israel and speak with my words to them. For you are not sent to a people of foreign speech and a hard language, but to the house of Israel -- not to many people of foreign speech and a hard language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely, if I sent you to such, they would listen to you. But the house of Israel will not be willing to listen to you, for they are not willing to listen to me: because all the house of Israel have a hard forehead and a stubborn heart. Behold, I have made your face as hard as their faces, and your forehead as hard as their foreheads. Like emery harder than flint I have made your forehead. Fear them not, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house.' Moreover, He said to me, 'Son of man, all my words that I shall speak to you receive in your heart, and hear with your ears. And to the exiles, to your people, speak to them and say, 'Thus says the Lord God,' whether they hear or refuse to hear ...


I have made you a watchman for the 
house of Israel.
whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me.'"


i have been called to my own people. 
i have their same individuality and stubborn, cynical nature. 
i know their cities and philosophies. 
we come from the same places.  
i was made to stand up against them in truth
 and be the watch(wo)man :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I Wanna Go To ...

boston, ma ... for harvard, b.u., hustle & bustle, sweet accents & attitudes
bar harbor, me ... for sea food, perfect, immaculate homes & sea sailing


california:
san francisco ... for art, music, bridges & trees
san diego ... cuz it's cool, beaches & sunshine
los angeles ... parties, tattoos, beaches & sunshine

seattle, wa ... coffee, fish & shopping
philadelphia, pa ... for brick streets, history & gloomy bars
new york, ny ... city wandering, parks, theater & people watching
somewhere, co ... to learn to ski & bask in the glory of mountains



greece
india
nepal
new zealand
australia
israel

Sick Day. Ew.

i woke up yesterday morning feeling strange.

45 minutes later i decided to go back to bed. 

i set my alarm for noon so i could get up & get ready for class.

noon came ... alarm rang ... i woke-up moaning & groaning in achiness, fever-stricken.

i emailed my professor and went back to sleep.

three o'clock rolled around ... i woke up again ... moaning & groaning ensued, this time convincing me that i'd better get a plastic bag or bowl or something to catch my ... ummm ... you-know-what. 

the rest of my day was spent falling in and out of sleep ... 
bouts of deep chilliness accompanied by a sweaty brow...
i got out of bed only twice and slept for a grand total of 19 hours. 

thank God for my apple entertainment center:
my ipod quietly sang me worship tunes all afternoon while i slept.
my macbook fed me the newest facebook & favorite blog updates. 
and my iphone provided a constant flow of charming, funny, perfect text messages from the cutest boy i know who is currently spending a week of vacation in southern california
... see:





this morning i feel 90% better. 
my bod is a little crampy and sore from lying down all day yesterday, but nothing a good dose of yoga stretches and midol can't do away with.


rest of today's forecast:
toast & tea for breakfast, 
more class skipping, 
and naps 'til work tonight.