Welcome, February.

two days ago was Febraury 5th

the day I celebrated my 1st ever one-year anniversary with my first ever Love.

today is February 7th.

four days from now will be February 11th

my boy will be in town and that will mark 3 weekends in a row that we've seen each other. yay.

seven days from now will be February 14th

 I will turn in a 10pp paper and give a 30minute presentation, 

and then go to work. a day full of romance.

eleven days from now will be February 18th

 the object from FebPhotoADay is "drink" which means i have an excuse to go somewhere special and order something cool to drink so i can feel sophisticated and artsy in the world of Instagram.

twenty-two days from now will be February 29th

 which means there will only be 134 days until i marry Matthew ... the man i want, love, need, desire, and do not deserve, but am lucky & elated to call mine.

thanks, Feb.

you're cool in my book.

 but your younger, more progressive sister - March - needs to hurry up and get here so she can move this party along.

 ♥

The Past 3 Months: short & life-changing.

whoa. life is busy.

busy & beautiful. 

let's play a little catch up.

there are three things you need to know.

#1

i ditched the dreads. 

i was ready. i thought our affair the locks & i would have lasted longer, but i was ready to be done.

so, with two faithful friends, a couple of heavy-duty combs, & a whole lotta conditioner ... 

they're gone!

#2

i'm in love.

this man has changed my life, my dreams, & my perspective.

i've never been even close to a love like this.

and, as you can see, i like to kiss his scruffy cheeks.

#3

we love each other so much that - during our Christmas vacation with my family on the S. Carolina beach - 

he asked me to be his wife! 

the night of our engagement

the day after, on the beach

my last semester of school as commenced...

i am planning a wedding...

i am working...

i have a senior internship...

& every spare moment i find i am traveling 

from St. Louis to Chicago.

see ya 'round

the end 

for now.

Quotey McQuotes.

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that,

and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning.

You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth.

 You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up.

And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt,

or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the

apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.

Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

The Lion and the Lamb.

Lion:  

full of justice & judgement

Lamb: 

AND grace & mercy

_______________________________________

Lion: 

power & strength

Lamb:

meekness & kindness

_______________________________________

Lion: 

angry & jealous

Lamb:

forgiving & beckoning 

_______________________________________

Lion: 

revengeful ... awaiting the day of return

Lamb:

patient ... pouring out providence for His children

_______________________________________

thoughts after church today. 

the Lord is GOOD in every way.
powerful over every ailment and weakness and evil.

it is humbling to be His.

whoa, nelly ... it's been a long time.

i know that i am supposed to "enjoy today" ... "live in the moment" ... 

"not yearn for tomorrow, for it isn't promised" ... 

yeah. i know. 

but i can't help it. 

i am ready for the next stage in life. so ready.

i have senioritis. bad. 

i miss my boyfriend. bad. 

i want to spend these autumn afternoons frolicking in 

pumpkin patches with my best friend. bad. 

i want to be in grad school, living downtown chicago. bad. 

i want, i want, i want. 

life is good. it's nice and comfortable and i am blessed. 

i am still applying myself, and not grumpy and stressed all the time although, i have my days  ...

i am doing well. for real. 

there are rough days, but i'm well.

71/2 months and counting. 

graduation & moving day will come soon!

100th Post.

Dear, Matthew ...  I just want you to know that I am completely in love with you. Most everything in my days makes me think of or wish for you in some way. You are truthfulness and tenderness in so many of the areas that I need it. You remind me what it looks like to mix strength and kindness into one. My spirit and body long for you during our times apart. No one compares to your presence in my life. You enrich my everyday ... When you're sad or hurt, all I want is to be near you. To run my fingers through your hair. To kiss your forehead. To love, love, love you. When I have a bad day or am feeling my loneliness, literally ALL I want is you ... Your eyes to look into, your hands to hold, your chest to lie on, your jokes to giggle at, your kisses to make me feel alive.

I miss you, and I'm proud to be yours .. But most of all, I'm crazy about you.

You're my boy. Thank you for loving me.

Baby, You're a Firework!

july 4th celebrations were perfect. 

i spent the weekend in chicago suburbs with a group of friends many of which i rarely get to see  and matt & i threw a party at his house! the day was dreamy with a high of 86, unveiled sunshine, and waves of perfect breeze throughout the afternoon that turned into a pretty sunset sky & cool summer evening.

as the night went on i forgot more and more to take pictures. which is sad, because the after-fireworks party was whimsical and cozy. but we had a fab time ... here's the proof! 

1. Matt's daddy grilling with a friend     2. me & two of my favorite ladies     3 & 4. chatty, handsome boys

summer in chicago = big sunglasses

buddies playing bags

1. bros ;)     2. me & bruce!

everybody hangin'

1. me eating     2. chris & ruth ... new friends!     3. edith & her piece of AWESOME american flag cake     4. sunset jeff     5. matt & i     6. waiting for fireworks!

the back deck ... ready for drink creations & snacking!

and that, my friends, is where the pictures ended ... 

but the party did not.